Sometimes....

My confession for this evening is that sometimes I get lonely. Feeling selfish for wanting to have my own existence while pouring my whole being into the kids. I just find that it would be delightful to have a bit of both worlds one of B.C. (before children) and that of a mom to three amazing beings. I know that time changes and these occasional and temporary feelings of being tied down to the point of not being able to commit myself to anything for myself are just that.... temporary but it is evenings like these that Ian is still not home that I just wish that I could have my own life. That there was things and activities of my own that I could escape to while waiting, waiting for another day.

On another note we got through another holiday, July Fourth. Not one of a festive person I find myself repeatedly proud of my performance in ensuring that the kids had a blast. The realization that I need to work on our patriotism hit me when my six year old son asked who is America and where is she, in response to me announcing that it is America's birthday. On the other hand my two year old was just thrilled that it was someone's birthday and have to have a cake with candles. Oh to be a kid where everything is so simple and the weight of feeling lonely cause your days are consumed by kids and the only other adult that lives in the house has not been home for about 16 hours never fades you.